if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
