A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
