I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Randomize
