To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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