I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
