I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
only you would photoshop your dick
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
