i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I am mentally ready for anal.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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