I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
