Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My life is pants optional.
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