bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
