Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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