My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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