i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
