Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
