he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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