Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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