It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
