matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
