It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize