Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.

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(713): View more from Texas

i cant believe jose lima did steroids

(281): View more from Texas

apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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(949): View more from California

Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.

(949): View more from California

I felt like a god.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins

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(310): View more from California

Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube

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