one might say we're banned from that church
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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