I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
