That's intense
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
