wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
