I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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