its not stalking. its research.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
