TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize