Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
