in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize