I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
