that's an acceptable place to lick
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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