the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
