READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
