I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
