ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
