did you get engaged???
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Randomize
