i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
