Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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