franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it's like iHOP with fire
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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