I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
