She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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