in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think my vagina is haunted
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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