Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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