If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
