this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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