After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
