you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
