I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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