I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
one might say we're banned from that church
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
