Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize