I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize