Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
