pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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