Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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