You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
