One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
